Shit Hands is a character Kevin created in the Ruining the NBA with the worst player ever video. Kevin chose to make the video on NBA 2K15, despite the game being 5 years old, after seeing a compilation video of bad voice acting from NBA players on the game.
His favourite team, and not his favourite genre of music, is the Utah Jazz. He simply answered Jazz when asked about his favourite team because he thought they were talking about his favourite music genre. According to Kevin, he has the style of a heroine addict. He is very tall, standing 7'3" and probably weighs the maximum weight allowed by 2K, as Kevin asked how heavy Shit could be when finishing his creation in the MyCareer mode.
Following the MyCareer story of NBA 2K15, Shit Hands went undrafted in the 2014 NBA draft, which was a surprise to absolutely nobody. After a few altercations with his agent and a lot of yelling, he got an opportunity to earn an NBA contract six months after the draft. He tried out with the Memphis Grizzlies, who had the least interest in signing him with 14%, but failed to secure a contract as he spent most of his tryout running around the court and screaming while falling over.
Following the shambles that was the tryout with the Grizzlies, Shit Hands tried out with the Utah Jazz. He told the Jazz coach that trying out for them was his destiny, but making the Grizzlies' roster would've been his destiny if he got a contract there. During the tryout, Shit actually made a basket, though he didn't do much else out of fear that he would make mistakes and miss out on getting a contract. The Jazz actually offered him a ten-day contract, most likely due to game mechanics that make signing with your favourite team more likely, and Shit gave out to his agent again due to not getting drafted.
Moments before his NBA debut against the Boston Celtics, Shit yelled at Jazz point guard Trey Burke that he was better than anyone else on the team, making enemies almost immediately after joining the Jazz. Shit Hands lived up to his name in his debut, scoring 2 points the entire game, and turning the ball over 3 times. To his credit, he did steal the ball once. During his time on the bench in his debut game, the coach would yell at him occasionally, and Shit would respond by being an absolute smartass. In the arena tunnel after the game, Trey Burke spoke to Shit about his performance during the game, though Shit took none of Burke's advice on board and instead told him he needed the ball more. After reading through social media following his debut game, and upon realising that Trey Burke's voice acting was better than anticipated, Shit Hands retired from the NBA.
NBA career statistics Edit
PPG = points per game
RPG = rebounds per game
APG = assists per game
SPG = steals per game
BPG = blocks per game