BitLife is a mobile phone game that Kevin has played 3 times on his channel. The game is a text based life simulator where the objective is to live a virtual digital life while having to deal with everyday (or just flat out unrealistic) difficulties and struggles, played out in cartoonist and humorous ways. Kevin has created 4 characters in BitLife during his 3 videos, none of which have lived particularly long as you'd imagine... This page details all of them:
Hair Dryer Call Me Edit
Kevin's first character was Hair Dryer Call Me (he was going to call him Kevin but felt that if he was naming himself he wouldn't call himself Kevin, but rather Hair Dryer). He was born on 22 January in Cork, Ireland to Tom and (Mamma) Mia.
Hair Dryer was a very good looking person, with his looks nearly always in the 90% and above area, but was not very smart. He was also given a pet turtle named Victoria by his Mother when he was 5 because why not...
He attended Farrell Primary School at age 6 but was a very unsettled student. He was sent to the headmistresses office for fighting his classmate and bully William and was expelled for 4 days after insulting her. Just a year later however he decided to battle another classmate Adam for literally no reason, which resulted in him ripping his eyeball out among other things and was suspended for another 5 days. To make things worse he was later diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
Things seemed to be looking up for Hair Dryer after his classmate Peggy Owen (a very crazy but not so good looking, or rich or smart girl) asked him out at age 11, and who later became his fiancee... at age 14! But also aged 14 he was sadly diagnosed with Epilepsy. So in mind of this he joined the broadcasting club when he started secondary school coz that's totally a good idea to sit in front of a screen for 4 hours a day when you have epilepsy. He died a year later due to it... RIP
His funeral was attended by his parents and his fiancee Peggy, who would be without her dearest husband for the rest of her life. Kevin then showed how little respect he has for anyone in his life and proceeded to bulldoze Hair Dryer's grave and act as if he never existed. What a fecker...
Washin Machine Call Me Edit
After how badly Hair Dryer's life turned out, Kevin created a new character which he claims IS in fact him and not Hair Dryer. He calls him Washin Machine and he was born on 2 November to Nathan and Cara Call Me in Cork, Ireland. He also has a older brother called Luke.
Just like Hair Dryer, Washin Machine was bullied by people in his class in high school, but was considerably less aggressive than Hair Dryer, getting his classmate William expelled instead of fighting back at age 9. He tried to do the same to a fellow classmate Tom but was unsuccessful.
Tradgedy struck once he turned age 123 after his Mum Cara passed away aged 55 from being bitten by a poisonous spider... in Ireland! He couldn't be bothered top attend her funeral. However things quickly became good again after a popular and very good looking classmate Ella asked him out the next year, to which he accepted.
He successfully graduated from high school at age 18 and decided to take Dance at University because why not. 2 years later his girlfriend Ella got pregnant and gave birth to his daughter, Roisin Call Me. He eventurely got his degree in Dance and after a failed application to become a Pharmacist (because he was definitely qualified...) became Assistant Dance Instructor at Cork Dance Studios with an initial salary of €31,352 a year, while Ella became a firefighter.
Ella gave birth to a second daughter, who he names ReturnToSender Call Me because he didn't want another baby (what a fecker...) He also decided that it would be a great idea to assault a random guy and was charged with assault, though thanks to some handy lawyers he was found not guilty.
A third child was born to Washin Machine at age 28, this time a boy that he appropriately named Girl Call Me. He was also promoted to head choreographer at the Dance Company. 6 years later, Washin Machine's father then sadly passed away aged 82, with him inheriting €9,278 but a year later he was promoted again to dance director at his job.
Washin Machine and Ella officially got engaged a year later after being together for 21 years. This was marred after he attempted to sell a dufflebag of PCP drugs that he found lying around and was caught by the police but once again his lawyers bailed him out.
When he turned 39 his fiancee Ella wanted to leave him due to him being "too boring in bed" but she ultimately stayed after Washin Machine begged her to, though this led him to get depression straight after. Just one year later Ella decides to break up with Washin Machine after declaring his penis to be "too small". He called her a mistake and the two went their separate ways after being together for 26 years.
To deal with this loss, he has unsafe sex with a hot woman called Freya Thompson. However after being warded out by her obsession of reading religious passages, he files a restraining order after she tries to tak him to bed again. To make matters worse, he was fired from his position at the Dance Company due to him apparently masturbating at work, dirty fecker...
He attempts to reapply for the job but is told no and ends up not even being able to get a job as a male stripper. He eventually gets a part time job as a Chicken Sexer and to pass the time stalks his ex Ella.
With his happiness and health at 0% after purchasing 100+ lottery tickets and winning nothing, he resorts to visiting a Witch Doctor who feeds him a filet of fennel snake to help his declinig health. Long story short, it kills him... He dies aged 55 with a net value of €249,477